Submissive male bdsm

Added: Sadia Clewis - Date: 19.07.2021 20:38 - Views: 48215 - Clicks: 5457

However, one topic which is common to many male submissives is that the fantasy of desires and the reality of those desires are often quite different. Of course, fantasy vs reality is not unique to male submission or to BDSM. Most everyone has as-yet-unfulfilled hopes or desires of some sort and the reality of those desires is often different from the ideal of what we believe that we want.

For male submissives with BDSM desires, this issue seems to be common. Many dominant women on FetLife comment about submissive men who contact them but have difficulty ultimately making a meaningful connection. This issue has nothing to do with rudeness, being a fake, or even lack of communication, it is often a legitimate difficulty for subs, trying to understand what may be best left in the realm of fantasy.

Many male submissives have had fantasies for a long time before ever thinking about fulfilling those desires. Often these fantasies are not initiated by exposure to BDSM through books, the internet, or a partner, the fantasies may have submissive male bdsm from relatively innocent childhood experiences or observations. Consequently, many male submissives have many years of developing very strong and often detailed fantasies. These fantasies are often not a vague feeling of wanting to submit or to be dominated, the fantasies are often very detailed and can become quite extreme.

After all, for many years they are only fantasies and there is no risk of anything actually occurring, so it is safe to fantasize about extreme situations. And then at some point, he may decide to reach for his dreams in trying to find someone to share with in making his fantasy a reality. And that is where it gets tricky. This can lead to one of a few different reactions. A sub man may focus on his desires to the exclusion of the desires of a potential partner. No limits! From what I read, dominant women encounter both of the extremes much more than we might think, considering how unreasonable those extremes seem to be.

What is wrong with focusing on your desires? Nothing, but if you do not also focus on the desires of a potential partner, then you may not be able to find a partner at all without seeing a Pro Domme. It is very reasonable to be specific in what you want and it is typically considered as a positive to provide that sort of open communication over the course of a relationship. However, accosting a dominant woman with your desires before even establishing a dialog, and just focusing on your own desires, are not typically desirable or productive approaches.

In addition, if you are not flexible in how you would interact with a partner, then that would submissive male bdsm add difficulty to the ability to find a partner. On the other hand, what is wrong with telling a dominant that you will do anything with no limits?

Submissive male bdsm

If someone does take you up on your offer for no limits, beware! Regardless of the communication approach, a submissive man who has rather extreme and well-developed fantasies may not understand how much of it he may actually desire or submissive male bdsm be able to tolerate. A sub man may have what he considers extreme fantasies and become fearful if and when there comes a time to potentially experience any of those fantasies.

He may communicate his desires in an effective way with a potential partner and successfully negotiate a meeting, but chicken out at the last minute as realization sets in that he may actually experience what he has been fantasizing about for many years. Add that to the very common general fear of rejection, which can be acuter when one is rejected regarding something they have dreamed about for many years. BDSM with someone new can be scary! Relationships can be scary.

Submissive male bdsm

And factor in what a sub may consider being extreme, whatever that is, and the combination of different fears can make a sub freeze up. I have encountered male subs who have backed out of a meeting due to these sorts of fears and I have read comments from dominant women who have experienced last minute cancellations from sub men. Hopefully when this occurs there is contact with the one they were supposed to meet submissive male bdsm communicate the issue instead of simply no-showing, but even with communication it is extremely disappointing for a dominant to spend all of the time and effort in getting to know a sub man only to have him get cold feet and cancel a meeting.

There is no catch-all solution to fear, of course, but hopefully a slow approach without quickly diving into the deep end of the pool, and getting to know the person as much as reasonably possible before approaching a fearful event such as an in-person meeting, would help alleviate the sudden intensity of fear which may arise at the last moment. This is the same sort of fear many of us have when attending our first munch. What if I make a fool out of myself? What if the whole thing is a huge disappointment? There are some who do not feel much of this sort of fear and it greatly depends on the individual.

Many of us do not know how we will react but it seems reasonable to expect at least some fear to arise in these new situations, and to prepare ourselves emotionally for that likelihood so that we may examine the source of the submissive male bdsm and try to cope with it. In addition to the reality being potentially more frightening than a long-standing fantasy, there are many who fantasize about situations they would not want in reality.

It is very helpful to have this realization to be able to avoid miscommunication with potential partners, but it is understandable and common for subs to just not know for certain what they would actually enjoy. It makes sense, in that case, submissive male bdsm communicate this with a potential partner and, if possible, experiment with mild experiences. For example, if someone has fantasized for a long time about being tied down and spanked unmercifully but has never experienced any BDSM, they may be helped by initially trying a mild spanking even if that risks seeming like a potential disappointment for not allowing something more severe.

Communication ahead of time should alleviate disappointment and also help build trust. Starting slowly is smart and should not be a disappointment to anyone. Another type of fear is experienced by a man in a committed relationship with someone who is not into BDSM. Often a man will keep his BDSM fantasies and desires secret from his ificant other for years before finally opening up, or sometimes he never opens up and either just bottles up his feelings or secretly seeks elsewhere for satisfaction, which is a situation which can cause ificant pain for everyone involved.

It is scary for many men to reveal their BDSM desires for fear of being rejected by their partner. It may seem strange to think of a man in a loving and committed relationship not feeling the trust that his partner would accept him for who he is, but this is a very common issue without a one-size-fits-all answer. The issue of fantasy vs reality also sometimes comes up during a relationship.

After a submissive man reveals his BDSM desires to a ificant other, the reality often does not match what he would expect. I will use my own situation as an example. Once I met my wife over 15 years ago and we began to communicate our deepest desires, she was interested in whipping me so we tried it out.

Submissive male bdsm

However, the reality was not particularly fun for me and I learned that whipping can cause me pain. It hurt! Our relationship was great even back then but I figured that whipping or any pain play would need to just stay in fantasy, lesson learned. As it turns out, it took me a long time to realize that what I enjoyed in fantasy about being whipped was not the pain, it was the emotional feeling of being tortured or victimized by a sadist so that once BDSM re-entered our lives over a year ago and the approach my Princess takes is different, whipping is great.

It happens sometimes that a fantasy is fulfilled only to find that it is not enjoyable, or at least not initially. I have read comments from others that reality almost never lives up to the fantasy as if fantasy is almost always better. However, speaking as one who fantasizes about BDSM almost every day of my adult life I can say that reality can very well be better, because strong physical feelings are involved and that typically greatly amplifies the experience. From before I met my wife and experienced a whipping, or even afterward, the fantasy of being whipped can be enjoyable and, depending upon how well the mind can submissive male bdsm into the realm of fantasy, fantasies can be emotionally submissive male bdsm.

But the actual reality blows those fantasy feelings out of the water as the intensity of reality is much greater. And for me, luckily, the reality is much more enjoyable. Every month I'll update you on the latest from Submissive Guide and you'll get first access to new resources, offers and events. Fantasizing for Many Years Many male submissives have had fantasies for a long time before ever thinking about fulfilling those desires.

Will I enjoy it at all? Reality in a Relationship The issue of fantasy vs reality also sometimes comes up during a relationship. Keep us running with your support. SubguidePlus for our latest tips, tutorials and submissive tools! Male Submission — The Worm. Male Submission — Foot Fetish.

Male Submission — Selfishness. Find more related content. Advertise on Submissive Guide.

Submissive male bdsm

email: [email protected] - phone:(473) 962-4766 x 4312

Male submission